Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
