Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
