Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Randomize
