dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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