i would punch a child for taco bell
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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