Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
