I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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