i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
