Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
