She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
