garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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