Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
