I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
