shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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