Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
