i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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