I can't watch pbs sober anymore
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
