I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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