U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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