areolas are like halos for boobs.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
