Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
