hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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