we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
