Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
