I skipped work to stalk him.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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