Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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