I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
