You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
