Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
where are my eyebrows?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
