and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
