My pussy is not your playground.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
