and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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