So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My feet surprised me
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