Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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