...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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