After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
