How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
