The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
