Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
