U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
