3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
