guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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