Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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