Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
