I'd wear matching sweaters with you
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
