I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
