Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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