I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
