Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
