so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
