His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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